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words and music by Andrew London

lyrics

Good evening Sir I’m sorry, but it’s difficult to chat
while I’m singing and I’m playing this guitar
so I’m already multi-tasking and in asking me to join in conversation really is a bridge too far

If you’ll just wait until we’re finished I can give my full attention to the crisis that so obviously preys
upon your deeply troubled mind, or so your wild gesticulations and distorted facial grimaces imply

Well all right I have a moment can you tell me what it is
that on my advice your happiness depends
from your slightly awkward gait and your inebriated state should one surmise you need immediate directions to the mens’?

Oh I see that’s not the problem just you’d like to let us know you think the repertoire we’re playing’s not quite right
I’m surprised that you can offer such a wry and perspicacious observation given how much Lion Red you’ve had tonight.

I understand you like Metallica and AC/DC too and it’s so nice you feel obliged to come and share this point of view
but I’m afraid we’re not that kind of band, we’re playing this, you see
as requested by the bride and groom whose generosity
you are strip mining while opining that their choice of music suck
well I’ve only got two words for you and one of them is ‘off’

Can I ask you were you happy with the catering tonight
did you complain about the entree, was the steak done how you like?
Did you offer some suggestions to the barman? Really? No?
If you’d prefer a dryer Martinborough Pinot he should know

So you agree if would be rude and inappropriate to whine
about the couple’s choice of venue, and the menu, and the wine
yet you think it’s quite OK to come and slag the music off
as you stagger round and gorge like some aristocratic toff
on all the beer that you can guzzle and the wine that you can quaff
I’ve only got two words for you and one of them is ‘off’

credits

from Live at The Bent Horseshoe, released August 11, 2015
Andrew London: guitar & vox
Kirsten London: bass
Nils Olsen: sax
recorded, mixed & mastered by Paddi Addison

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Andrew London New Zealand

New Zealand singer/songwriter of mainly (but not exclusively) satirical original songs in a mainly (but not exclusively) 1940s swing genre.

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