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Three Little Words

from Ladies a Plate by Andrew London Trio

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about

A dedication to the hapless home DIY enthusiast.

lyrics

There is nothing I'll avoid, from Janet Frame to Sigmund Freud, from Alistair Maclean to Aristotle, but
When I read there are three little words guaranteed, to send me in search of a bottle:

Well it's not that I'm scared of commitment
or prone to emotional stress
It's not that I'm lazy or backward, my psychological state is no worse that the rest
Cos I've had lots of counselling sessions
done Tai Chi and Yoga and Zen
I've adopted techniques from pre-Socratic Greeks and I've done Tantric sex that just drags on for weeks
and I've seen maharishis and mystics
with psychics and sikhs I've conspired
but there's no relief I still shake like a leaf despite all the skills I've acquired
when I hear those three little words: some assembly required.

I'm not really sure where it started
this phobia complex and dire
some trauma begat this condition, was it that crystal radio set or the Airfix Spitfire?
Bar-B-Qs, trampolines and wheelbarrows; the construction of all I abhor
I finish triumphant then to my discomfort there's a big pile of leftover parts on the floor
Well of course it's the fault of my father, from whom no handyman skills were acquired
though my penchant for words was enhanced when I heard how his language became so inspired, confronted by three little words: some assembly required.

So bring out the toolbox, bring out the gin and prepare the Elastoplast bandaids
Send the children away for the rest of the day, leave Daddy alone it's just safer that way

It was that kitset TV cabinet did it, it just stood there askew and forlorn
with it's doors upside down and it's corners all chipped
and the hole in the side where my screwdriver slipped
I've a temperament mild and good-natured
for which I'm quite rightly admired
but to flatpack that munchkin who translates instructions is something that I've long desired
and to Hell with those three little words: some assembly,bly required.

credits

from Ladies a Plate, track released March 1, 2014
Words and Music: Andrew London (guitar & vox)
Nils Olsen: sax/clarinet/BVs
Kirsten London: bass
Lance Philip: drums

Recorded at Matrix Digital Studios in Wellington.
Cover Art by Gerad Taylor, www.geradtaylor.com

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Andrew London New Zealand

New Zealand singer/songwriter of mainly (but not exclusively) satirical original songs in a mainly (but not exclusively) 1940s swing genre.

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