Get all 9 Andrew London releases available on Bandcamp and save 15%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Get Back To Work!, A Live Concert, Standard Deviations, Let's Take Offence!, So Many Tracks, Let's Have Friends Around For Dinner, Live at The Bent Horseshoe, Ladies a Plate, and 1 more.
1. |
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Come in, get a drink, take a seat at your table
try not to make too much noise & sit still if you're able
I'm sure we're gonna all get on fine
woulda been nice if you'd a made it on time
I don't mean to bite, I'll be feeling all right if I could just get the top off this wine
Don't laugh, don't cough, only sneeze if you gotta
There'll be time to applaud at the end and I know that you'll wanna
and if you really got to go to the john
try not to flush till I finish this song, have fun if it kills you, enjoy yourself or get out
You know I don't come here just for your amusement
you should be grateful we could be bothered at all
We could easily go some place else
you’d all be sat here by yourselfs
Be glad that we’re here let me make it quite clear
It’s all for your cultural health
You’re there, I’m here, I’m the artist remember
I don’t care what you want, gonna play what I think you should hear
and I don’t wanna hear your requests
just remember, I know what’s best
Have fun if it kills you, enjoy yourself or get out.
you know, I don’t come here, just for your amusement
I played with some real big names honey don't you forget
If I'd a just had a little more luck
but my slow-moving agent fell under a truck
I know what you’re thinking, I do too much drinking
well buddy, I don’t give a stuff
Come in, get a drink, take a seat at your table
try not to make too much noise & sit still if you're able
It’s nice we could be here for you
just remember, whatever you do
Have fun if it kills you, enjoy yourself or get out,
Only gonna tell you once,
Have fun if it kills you, enjoy yourself or get out,
you don’t know how lucky you are,
Have fun if it kills you, enjoy yourself or get out.
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2. |
Let's Talk About Me
03:39
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So nice to see you, how you been? It's been a year or two
I've heard you're doing famously at whatever it is you do
me? I’m just fantastic, hey I’m really glad you asked
you got this conversation back on track at last...
You must have heard I got that job in the advertising game
you won't believe how much I earn, but I'm still just the same
Sure I go to San Francisco and the Cote d'Azure on biz
and all my friends are famous or they know someone who is
Let's talk about me. I'm much more interesting than you
Let's talk about me. My life is fabulous it's true
Let's talk about me. It's something that you all should do
That's enough about me, let's talk about you
What do you think about me?
So nice to see you, how you been? It's been a year or two
I've heard you're doing swimmingly at whatever it is you do
me I'm just fantastic, well the Prozac helps a bit
and it's only when I stop I realise I'm talking...
Shall we talk about me?
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3. |
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In spite of all our efforts, it's apparent now to me
our romance just hasn't blossomed like it should
despite a dozen dates and dinners disillusionment decrees
that our directions deviate, and we've divergent destinies
And so it falls to me I guess to do the decent thing
before we're inextricably entwined
I hope you'll soon get over it, I'd like to still be friends
with benefits, perhaps, if you're inclined.....
Should I dump you somewhere private or in a neutral public place.
etiquette says gentlemen and Catholics, should always do it face to face
should I opt for somewhere open, shunning small cafes and bars
could be an awkward silence after, should we maybe take two cars?
Should I take you to a restaurant, will you react with some reserve
I'll try and get the whole thing over, just before the mains are served
I understand you'll be downhearted, and your feelings may be hurt
such a shame to let a tantrum, ruin both of our dessert
could I unfriend you on Facebook, send a text in lower case
or an email to your office, with a little smiley face...
no there's just no way around it....it's a job that must be done
can we meet at 12 tomorrow - you'll be back at work by one.....
Should I take you to a sad movie, betray my sensitivity
so then you'd be upset already, but not directly cos of me
should I dump you somewhere private, or in a neutral public place
oh there's a message on my cellphone - well I’d have done it face to face.
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4. |
Concrete Block Motel
04:14
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Hello, here's your key. You're early - Oh well
so you come from Wellington, that right? yeah thought so - I can tell
It looks as if there's three of you, your agent should have said
cos I only got this unit left - yeah there's just the double bed.
You want some milk? blue or green? we give you that for free
but the heater's on a timer, it goes off at half past three
my wife & I live right next door so if you have to, ring the bell
it's all part of the service at this concrete block motel
CH
I been here nearly twenty years and seen the likes of you
you think attending to your needs is all I've got to do
I think it's only fair that I should share my private Hell
the welcome mat is waiting at this concrete...concrete block motel.
Now if you want to do some cooking, can you pull the blinds away
We had someone splash curry on them only yesterday
and check out time's at 10.00 a.m. so when you're leaving, don't be slow
there's no-one booked till August but we got our rules you know?
Yes of course we got the internet, it's ten bucks for an hour
we got that wireless broadway thing and it takes a lotta power
but if you climb up on the fridge you get the signal really well
it's all part of the service at this concrete block motel
Now of course there is no smoking, but it is all right to drink
and the shower works OK although the pressure's on the blink
so she tends to dribble out rather slow, and of course the nozzle doesn't fit
so if you want to actually get wet you gotta move around a bit
Hold on there is another room, how could I be so dumb
It used to belong to a chap called Bates , he lived there with his Mum
I think it's reasonably clean, but we'll only charge you half
The shower curtain's missing and there's some stains around the bath
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5. |
Wake Up Baby
04:30
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Wake Up baby it’s a quarter to eleven
I know you only got to bed at seven
it’s true what they say, that a woman’s work is never done
I don’t like to wake you but the baby’s getting smelly
you know I’d do it for you but the rugby’s on the telly
but after that you can take it easy for the rest of the day
The dishes need doing and the cat’s thrown up in the corner
I wouldn’t mind a cuppa if you’re coming through the kitchen again
oh by the way
I could use a little lunch if you think you could be bothered
just a little something, don’t you go to any trouble
but after that you can take it easy for the rest of the day
Wasn’t that funny last night when the car broke down on the way home
My back was playing up again, you had to change the tyre in the rain
There’s a little bit of cleaning up to do around the shower
I’ve got to watch the All Blacks for at least another hour
God I’ll be glad when the rugby season is over
So I don’t mind if you rest a little longer
shift that piano when you feel a little stronger
and after that you can take it easy for the rest of the day
and maybe put your feet up
after that you can take it easy for the rest of the day
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6. |
Two Words
03:53
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Good evening Sir I’m sorry, but it’s difficult to chat
while I’m singing and I’m playing this guitar
so I’m already multi-tasking and in asking me to join in conversation really is a bridge too far
If you’ll just wait until we’re finished I can give my full attention to the crisis that so obviously preys
upon your deeply troubled mind, or so your wild gesticulations and distorted facial grimaces imply
Well all right I have a moment can you tell me what it is
that on my advice your happiness depends
from your slightly awkward gait and your inebriated state should one surmise you need immediate directions to the mens’?
Oh I see that’s not the problem just you’d like to let us know you think the repertoire we’re playing’s not quite right
I’m surprised that you can offer such a wry and perspicacious observation given how much Lion Red you’ve had tonight.
I understand you like Metallica and AC/DC too and it’s so nice you feel obliged to come and share this point of view
but I’m afraid we’re not that kind of band, we’re playing this, you see
as requested by the bride and groom whose generosity
you are strip mining while opining that their choice of music suck
well I’ve only got two words for you and one of them is ‘off’
Can I ask you were you happy with the catering tonight
did you complain about the entree, was the steak done how you like?
Did you offer some suggestions to the barman? Really? No?
If you’d prefer a dryer Martinborough Pinot he should know
So you agree if would be rude and inappropriate to whine
about the couple’s choice of venue, and the menu, and the wine
yet you think it’s quite OK to come and slag the music off
as you stagger round and gorge like some aristocratic toff
on all the beer that you can guzzle and the wine that you can quaff
I’ve only got two words for you and one of them is ‘off’
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7. |
Emily Bay
03:53
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Johnny was a wild one, got sent down
seven years hard in Sydney Town
Tura-lura-lura-luralie-ay
Elizabeth cried on the dock , says he,
'You're a good girl, Lizzie, don't you wait for me'
Tura-lura-lura-luralie-ay
Johnny was a thief, he was quicker than some
got caught with a bottle of the captain's rum
and the blood runs down to the sand on Emily Bay
and the blood runs down to the sand on Emily Bay
Judge said 'I can turn a hard man around
you can do your time out in Kingston Town
Tura-lura-lura-luralie-ay
Johnny said ' well you can cut a chain for me,
but I'll curse your eyes till the day that I'm free
Tura-lura-lura-luralie-ay
Johnny took a hundred till the blood ran black
and the chaplain said 'That's a dead man's back'
blood runs down to the sand on Emily Bay
and the blood runs down to the sand on Emily Bay
Jackie said 'Now Brother come along with me,
gonna kill me a copper been a worryin' me
Tura-lura-lura-luralie-ay
Johnny said 'well Jack I been a thinkin' just the same
and they got three more before the soldiers came
Tura-lura-lura-luralie-ay
The Commandant said 'You're gonna hang this morn,
and England's sorry that you ever been born
blood runs down to the sand on Emily Bay
and the blood runs down to the sand on Emily Bay
Johnny was a wild one, got sent down
he never did a year in Kingston Town
Tura-lura-lura-luralie-ay
Elizabeth cried on the day she read
He was thrown in a hole, not a prayer was said
Tura-lura-lura-luralie-ay
And on the Murderers' Mound you can hear his plea:
'You're a good girl Lizzie don't you wait for me'
blood runs down to the sand on Emily Bay
and the blood runs down to the sand on Emily Bay
and the blood runs down to the sand on Emily Bay
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8. |
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Don't be sorry, don't be blue
I've got to go but I'll be true
Don't You know our love is much too strong
don't be lonely, don't be sad
you know I've got it just as bad
don't ever say you'll leave me from now on
Don't be telling me you don't know this was meant to be
it was written in the bright stars all along
so don't be sorry, don't be blue
cos I'm on my way back home to you
don't ever say you'll leave me from now on
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9. |
C'est Si Bon
03:14
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10. |
For No-one
02:28
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11. |
Short Attention Span
03:26
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You got a minute or two to get through to me
cos I start to wander, maybe scratch my knee
start looking round at girls and shops
and from that point on you got a minute tops
May as well just talk to the hand I got a short attention span
Baby there’s something that you gotta say
better put up a sign make me look your way
cover yourself in chocolate sauce
do a highland fling with a talking horse
get a microphone or a marching band I got a short attention span
You won’t get a long conversation with me
my attention wanders, is it quarter to three?
I gotta be somewhere, prob’ly get there late
baby I just can’t concentrate
so and if you wanna get through to me
better set off something like Apollo Three
get me a drink get me something to eat
go get yourself a part on Shortland Street
tell me quick, I’m a typical man I got a short attention span.
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Andrew London New Zealand
New Zealand singer/songwriter of mainly (but not exclusively) satirical original songs in a mainly (but not exclusively) 1940s swing genre.
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